How to Win Friends and Influence People Book Summary

You can go after the job you want—and get it!

You can take the job you have—and improve it!

You can take any situation—and make it work for you!

Dale Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. One of the most groundbreaking and timeless bestsellers of all time, How to Win Friends & Influence People will teach you:

-Six ways to make people like you

-Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking

-Nine ways to change people without arousing resentment

And much more! Achieve your maximum potential—a must-read for the twenty-first century with more than 15 million copies sold!

This book is divided into four parts. The first half of the book discusses techniques in handling people and how to have people like you. The final half of the book gives instructions about how to win people to our own thinking and how to be a leader by changing people without offending them or causing resentment.

The first part of the book has three principles:

Principle #1 emphasizes the importance of avoiding criticism and he describes working with people as working with people of logic. He further describes complaining and criticizing as a foolish task to do and how it takes a person of character to understand, forgive, and have self-control.

Principle #2 describes the importance of honest and sincere appreciation. Within this principle he describes the importance of ending our own thinking of accomplishments and desires. Instead, we must put our focus on the other person’s good qualities. If being sincere, this will cause people to cherish them in their minds, even years later.

Principle #3 involves influencing the other person to want, but not in a way that is manipulative. With this principle, he describes the importance of self-expression and connects it to the importance of thinking in terms of the other person, so that they come up with your ideas on their own, which they will like more.

The second part of the book teaches six principles.

Principle #1 describes how critical it is to become interested in other people because you will make more friends compared to having others interested in you.

Principle #2 explains the importance to smile in a heartwarming way because it will brighten the lives of those who see it.

Principle #3 describes the importance of recalling a person’s name. He gives tips on how to remember and then explains how people enjoy the sound of their own name.

Principle #4 is about being a good listener and encouraging those to talk about themselves. He then goes onto to explain again that people are more interested in talking about themselves instead of others.

Principle #5 is to talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Principle #6 is to sincerely make the other person feel important because this is the “deepest urge in human nature.”

In the third part of the book, Dale describes the steps to have a person think in terms of your own thoughts. He then explains that it is better to avoid arguments and to show respect for other people’s opinions and never tell them they are wrong. because it will further push them away. If there is fault in your own behavior, Dale explains to immediately admit you’re wrong without any doubts. If you are upset, he explains to sit down and counsel together, and if there are differences, understand it. Even in some differences, there will be points of agreement. He then explains the importance of agreement and having the person say “yes,” at least twice. You doing this by looking into the other person’s viewpoint and asking questions that cause them to agree. It is essential to have friends do the talking and have them excel us, instead of excelling them. When this occurs, they will feel important. To further the notion of feeling important, it is important to have the individual create their own ideas. He deepens this idea by asking questions such as, “Why should he or she want to do it?” and then being sympathetic towards their ideas. In order to catch a person’s attention, you must dramatise the ideas you have. If all else fails, he explains the importance of competition and how it drives people to feel important and empowered to work efficiently and effectively.

In the final part of the book, Dale again discusses the importance of beginning with praise and honest appreciation.

When someone makes a mistake, call out their mistakes indirectly. This can be done by making their mistakes your own and explaining the importance of fixing it and why it gave you a disadvantage. He then explains the importance of asking questions that direct the person you’re speaking to, to obtain your idea on their own. He emphasizes the importance of having the person be saved from embarrassment, and then explains the importance of praise again, even if it is small. Dale then gives examples of giving a person a reputation that makes them better, in order to have the person be motivated to improve. After giving someone a reputation to live up to, encourage the person to correct their faults and make them happy to do the actions you suggest.

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